The Law of Detachment is BS. Here's What Works.

You read that right…

Everybody tells you to detach from outcomes, but that's like asking you not to think of a pink elephant.

Now you're thinking of a blue giraffe, right?

Same struggle when you're running your business or trying to build your brand.

What works 10x better is attaching to an outcome. Just not the one you're obsessing over.

Let me show you what I mean with a story.

This will probably be my first and last time giving dating advice.

When I started dating, I was pathetically over-prepared. Checking routes to restaurants, pre-studying menus to make sure I could afford them, planning conversation topics.

I'd waste hours preparing to spend money on an random chick. Gay.

Then a weird event gave a realization.

Back in university, I was in a group project with two girls and another guy.

One of the girls—"Sarah"—was playing dictator, giving orders to everyone.

Fresh out of the army where I'd had enough of drill sergeants, the last thing I needed was some cute blonde telling me what to do.

So I messaged her: "Listen Sarah, I don't give a shit if you have more experience. Stop acting like this is your company. I like you, but don't ever speak to me like that again. Understood?"

I thought she would hate me for saying this.

But in the contrary.

She couldn't get enough of me after that. Constantly inviting me over, suggesting we meet up.

That's when it clicked.

The less I gave a shit, the more they were into me.

Knowing this, I reviewed the way I went on dates.

There were no more "dates."

Dates are death traps—they're outcome-focused by design. Both people feel it. The guy stresses about creating the perfect experience, the girl feels the weight of those expectations.

Dates are all about psychology.

And this kind of environment is sub optimal.

Here's what I did to detach from the obvious outcome of a date:

I started living my life and simply invited women to join.

Needed groceries—Invited her along.

Wanted to check out a new part of town (for myself)—Asked if she wanted to explore it with me.

Unsexy activities, but that was the point.

This eliminated all pressure. I was going to do these things anyway, so:

1. She didn't feel like she had to pretend to like it (I put in zero special effort)

2. She sensed I didn't value her approval (which paradoxically made me more valuable)

3. It created a natural path back to my place ("let's put these groceries away")

And btw, these unsexy activities are usually things you do with your wife or GF.
Bonus points.

The bridge to my point is this:

To truly detach from the outcome of "getting the girl," I attached to the outcome of simply having a good day on my own terms. The date became a side effect of living my life, not the purpose of it.

This mindset is your game-changer.

Stop obsessing over leads, clients, or sales. Instead:

• Create content to document your process for your future/past self, then "happen" to upload it to YouTube

• Build tools that solve your own problems, then "happen" to sell them

• Share insights you personally need to remember, then "happen" to build an audience

See you in the trenches,

—Kassimi